"Yes Mummy"

People are quite curious about my private life, is the work I do just work or is there a part of me that actually does get off on being dominant? The honest answer is Pamela Blonde the Dominatrix is much more physically sadistic than I am at home, The Domme I am at home is much more emotionally sadistic.

I’ve been told off before for the way I objectify men, and I’ve explored the possibility that this is problematic but in the end my conclusion is that it’s a huge part of my personality as a Domme, it’s really my way of flirting. The person that told me off the most for objectifying men was actually my first ever personal sub, the person I have objectified the most.

Our meeting was very vanilla, he was the bartender at my local pub in London, a place I had only been for 5 months at the time. I taunted him while he worked, like an animal playing with it’s prey before the final kill. I knew I wanted him, I just had no idea how much I would end up having him. One night as we sat at a bus stop I asked him if he had any plans to ask me on an actual date, he nervously answered that he was intending to message me on instagram when he got home. INSTAGRAM? The boy has only given me more ammo to use to tease him.

The start of our flirtations were very vanilla, but despite the lack of a D/S dynamic I still felt the urge to lightly humiliate him, so I sent him back to the bar with a very large hickey. Something that his colleagues would know was from me. I know hickeys are very much a thing that teenagers do, but I’ve never really grown out of them. I like to mark my territory. He had to wear a turtleneck in August to go to dinner with his family, I was thrilled.

We spent the summer fucking, eating and drinking. He would find us nice bars and restaurants to attend and I would make us late for our booking with my insatiable sexual appetite. He would dress nice, muscles perfectly filling his shirt, hair slicked back, chain dangling from his neck like it was almost inviting me to pull on it. It’s interesting how much you can objectify someone, when they just let you. I made him nervous with my compliments I think, but that was always the intention. I nicknamed him “Himbo” (male bimbo) something he was mildly offended by but that only made me like the nickname more. I still have his Himbo t shirt that I got him for his birthday somewhere in my flat.

The development of our dynamic was so organic I can barely remember how it started, I think I discovered his love of spit, then some time later it was feet. As time passed I think I was feeling brave one day and called him a “good boy” during sex, something I felt a really intense urge to do, but something I thought he might scoff at. He didn’t. He moaned. Good boy stuck and the more time passed the braver I became until eventually told him he should call me Mummy, I don’t remember how he agreed but I remember how enthusiastic he sounded when he said it.

Outside of our sexual relationship, he did pretty much everything for me. He picked me up from the train station when I came home from my tours in Edinburgh, he carried my bags, he fetched breakfast in the morning if he stayed the night, he paid for the bar tabs when we went out drinking. I was spoiled. This did not come without some complaints, but those complaints only meant me teasing him more, I never took them that seriously. I think in his desire to not be seen as a “little bitch” (his words), he had to put up a little fight every now and then.

I would never deny myself the pleasure of having sex with him, but a lot of the things we did when we first met went out the window. Something about him asking me if we would ever do them again excited me. Here is this incredibly attractive man, who knows I will not perform certain acts on him ever again, and he’s sad about it but not enough to stop coming back to me, just to see if he’s earned them again. I talk a lot in my Domme Confidence workshop (for non professional dommes who want to learn how to feel confident when domming their partners) about “earning pleasure” and I think that’s what our dynamic was, he was being a “good boy” to earn the privilege me being a good “Mummy”. His desire to please me in both sexual and non sexual ways never felt less exciting.

I cared about him a lot, I still think of him fondly but when I decided to move back to Edinburgh, I decided to end our flirtation. He took me on one last date a few days before I moved, held my hand and told me the 2 years we had our dynamic, I made him very happy. He was quite an emotionally guarded person and this was me finally seeing how much I meant to him, I teared up and went quiet and told him I would miss him a lot. I have never let anyone else call me Mummy since, but the craving to have someone in his position again, has never left.